I turned myself into lorem ipsum, Morty! Boom! Big reveal: I’m ipsum lorem. I turned myself into lorem ipsum and 9/11 was an inside job.

Aids! Oh, wow. That’s an intense line of questioning, Snuffles It takes, like, 78 years to hang a dragon to death. Let’s be post-apocalyptic scavengerrrrsss!

Really, you’re gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilisation. Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school. I wish that shotgun was my penis. What is this, 90’s Conan? I am Mr. Booby Buyer. I’ll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles!

Puffy vagina. I’m Scary Terry!! You can run but you can’t hide, bitch! Beth, your son is dying! Say good-bye! You know my name, that’s disarming.

I’m a bit of a stickler Meeseeks, what about your short game? I do not have discolored butthole flaps. And that’s why I always say ‘Shumshumschilpiddydah!’ Oh good job Morty! You killed my best customer but you saved a mind reading fart!

Merchandise Morty, your only purpose in life is to buy & consume merchandise and you did it, you went into a store an actual honest to god store and you bought something, you didn’t ask questions or raise ethical complaints you just looked into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said ‘yes daddy please’ and I’m so proud of you, I only wish you could have bought more, I love buying things so much Morty. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a quick solo adventure to go on and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard. I couldn’t hear you over my own screaming. We’ve talked about this! Ooohhh can do.

Yea and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mothers ovaries! If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die. Just like Saaaaw. It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. Don’t even trip about your pants, dawg. We got an extra pair right here.

Pin It on Pinterest